Improve Spousal Organization Habits

When we take our wedding vows, we agree to stick by our spouse through it all.  Yet when day-to-day living starts, we find quirks, irritants, and differences between ourselves and our spouse that can drive us crazy if we let them.

I have a question for you:  Who doesn’t wish their spouse was more organized?

I admit, at times I am right there with you.

This article has been a terribly difficult one for me to write.  After all, shouldn’t I love my spouse the way he is?  Shouldn’t I embrace him fully, even if it means appreciating the messes he leaves?  Am I a mean, horrible wife for wishing our organizational systems were more in sync?

After a lot of research and discussion with my spouse, I have decided that the most important skill is being respectful.  Work with him/her to find a system that works.  It may not be the system you use, and that’s okay if it leads to mutual, better organization.

Sit down with your spouse (for purposes of this article, the “spouse” will be the husband).  Discuss the organizational needs of your family.  Combine your strengths to make a plan.  Is your spouse great at yard/care, but not at housekeeping?  Then make a plan based on that.

Communication is key.  Allow your spouse to use the system that works for him, but take the time to learn it as well so that you’ll understand how things are going to work down the road.

For example, my husband is not a budgeter.  He doesn’t want to worry about the big picture.  I, on the other hand, tend to be a bit neurotic about having every expense written down, and it’s frustrating for me when he doesn’t record expenses.  We now have set up a system now that enables him to spend more freely without me stressing.  At the beginning of each month, he gets a wad of cash.  I’ve budgeted the amount out and it’s his to spend on whatever he wants, whether it’s snacks for work or a movie rental.  He understands my system, I understand his, and we’ve made a way to combine the two.

My husband is currently going through all of our photos and backing them up to a computer disc.  I have no clue where he is at in the process and so I leave it alone.  He has explained to me how he would like us to organize our future photos so that it won’t be so complicated to back up in the future.  We have a folder on our computer for all the new digital photos taken.  My job is simply to put any pictures I take into that folder.  My husband will then take the time to back them up and sort them into the other folders he has, based on a timeline.  This is another example of allowing different organizational systems to work as a couple.

The most important thing to remember is that you are a team.  You are not the coach; he is not the student.  He is not the boss; you are not the servant.  If you will give mutual respect to one another as you organize, then the systems you come up with will be more successful ones, and you’ll have more harmony in your marriage.

Evelyn Cox

©Evelyn Cox/www.houseoforder.com

Photos from sxc.hu. Used with permission.