Weekly Hints~2007

When its past the big holiday, its time to conquer all the new stuff. May I suggest several ways to bring order back to your life, especially regarding gifts?

1) GIFT BOX. Some gifts can go immediately into your “gift” box to give away again. The intent was nice and the gift welcome, but the usefulness in your life questionable. Giving it again is a great answer!

2) RETURNS. Other gifts are nice and useful enough, but they are in the wrong size, wrong color, or wrong brand. Put these together for the next trip to town. Put gift receipts in the bag with each gift and to facilitate returns. Don’t plan on do many returns until the crowds settle down a bit and when you do go, go early in the day.

3) FRIENDS. If the gift is useful & needed, find a home for it. Can it totally replace something you already have? Do you really need two? How about giving the old away so the new will have more room and be easier to find?

4) FREELOADERS. These are gifts which are not useful nor needed in your life. You will have to decide how long you have to “politically” keep some items, but for the most part, let them go sooner than later. Alternatively, give something else away so your “new gift” guest has a nice home until you have the courage or the “time” space needed to give it away again. I often put these items in my “2009 gift” box (because in one year most people forget and if they remember aren’t so unhappy that I have passed it on).

5) LOVE IT, BUT NOT ENOUGH. These are sentimental gifts, lovely in their own way, but how many is enough? They are often also useful, but because they are not needed, well… If you don’t really, really love it, let it go to make someone else happy.

So clean up the gift mess, deciding and sorting with a goal to keep the house just as ordered before the holidays started. Put away, give away, or store away to keep your life as uncluttered as possible!

My dearest friends, for the next two weeks we are going to be in a mode of “functional chaos”. Most of us will have a disruption in our regular routines with people, food, and activities out of the norm. This is all fun and good….well, it can be!

But it is up to you and I to understand and incorporate the concept of functional chaos into our routines. This means that first thing every morning we are going to get up and get ready for the day. Yes, (except for a rare exception like Christmas morning and New Year's Day) get yourself ready for the day before you emerge to meet the needs of your immediate family, guests, relatives, and friends.

This means doing whatever personal habits springboard you for a “good” day, like scripture study, journaling, a bit of exercise, a shower, some lipstick, a brush through your beautiful hair, and some bright, happy clothes!

Then with yourself all in order, you can meet the needs of others. You might even have time to tackle the undone laundry, the dishes which didn’t get done after last night’s snack, the front room mess from a fun game of charades, and the snow pack on your front porch.

May your enjoy this holiday season as you back off a rigorous routine and enjoy every leisurely experience, but may you still find order in your personal life so you can function at your highest level. Remember. First you, then him/her (if you are so lucky to have one of these in your life), and then them. Keep yourself functional even though both you and I know that it is going to be a bit chaotic.

When we get stressed, especially when we have a big event approaching in our lives, we tend to hunker down, work harder and with more focus to get everything in place, done, and otherwise organized. One important asset which we often miss is asking for help from those who could, and often should, be easing our burden.

It is so difficult to ask for help. We get responses like, “You want ME to help?” “Let so and so do it, I’m too busy and its not my job, anyway.” “Why should I help?” And so it is easier to carry the weight of preparations without reaching out to others.

However, this is not right and certainly not a balanced, organized way to approach the big events, holidays, and celebrations in our lives. Everyone should contribute. Everyone! One way to get past the initial refusals and rebuffs we encounter from others is to offer them a choice.

“Brad (a son who has returned from college for the holiday season), would you rather help with the morning dishes or take out the trash each day while you are home?” “Shirley (a sister who is staying over for the weekend), there are two priorities today. The kitchen floor badly needs mopping and the main bathroom needs a spiff. Could you do one or the other before we go shopping?” “Honey (your dearly beloved spouse), I am really overwhelmed this week. Would you mind dropping off the packages at the post office on your way to work or picking up some milk on your way home?”

Please, my friends, let others help. It doesn’t have to be the big things, the important things, or the complex things they help with, but ask them to help somewhere. They will feel less like company and more like family, less like guests and more like friends. You will ease your burdens and they will begin to maybe, just maybe, carry part of the load that should be theirs in the first place.

So courageously say, “Do you mind helping? Which would you prefer? Thanks for easing our way.” Happy holidays! And remember, sometimes the best gifts are the ones we ask for!

Have you recently received a ticket? Today, we are going to talk about personal speed limits and how we can control them during this busy time of our lives. You and I have three personal speed limits which I would like to share ideas about today. They are sufficient sleep, proper eating habits, and appropriate stress management.

When one, two or even all three of these are surpassed. we are going to get a ticket. Yes, I know we can outwit a ticket here and we can avoid a ticket there because our body policeman might be otherwise occupied, but eventually it seems to triangulate and catch up with us. One ticket for me, one ticket for you, and S.I.C.K. is where we end up.

In this season of stress, too much good food and often of the wrong kind, and too little sleep, may I encourage you to review your own personal speed limits and set some goals. For instance:

2) I will leave time before and after all my projects, commitments, and activities for setup and cleanup so I can stay in charge of my stress. Sometimes I will say “no”, “later” or, “I will have to think about that for a bit”.

3) I will eat those treats that I enjoy, but I will only have ___ bites before I push the plate back, put the dish in the fridge, or dump the rest of the disposal (which, of course, is a dramatic way to enforce this particular personal speed limit, but one which works quite well, because it is irreversible).

May I encourage you during this month of fun and fuss, friends and family, frolic and frantic times to drive safely, from beginning to end. Review your own personal speed limits. Decide what they will be and how you will handle your food consumption, your sleeping habits, and your stress management!

May you drive safely and keep within your own personal speed limits, so that you can come into the new month and the new year without any tickets at all!

I am also working on a new project, Organized For A Mission (should any of you wish to acquire a draft copy for organizing an upcoming mission this next year). Just send me an email with your request!

Today I would like share ideas about holiday greetings organization. The week after Thanksgiving is the very best time to get this very important and timely activity started before the holiday pressures, stress, and rush really set in. Let's get set up so this task is easy to do both now and always.

When we prepare our holiday greetings, there are four elements we address: Who will get our greetings? What will we send? How will we go about it? When will we do it?

If you're going to do a printed greeting, the first project is to gather your addresses and organize them on a computer file so you can get your address labels printed (unless you still like to hand print them). Then you can decide what to send. It might be a photo, a card, a letter, or a combination of these things. Next, you must decide how you will get the photo reproduced, the letter copied, and the cards found or purchased. Of course, you will have to buy or find some supplies: stamps, return address labels, and the cards. I would like to add a small hint that has helped me over the years. If you send cards, keep them with the Thanksgiving decorations. This acts both as a reminder, makes the cards readily available, saves a lot of time going through Christmas decorations trying to find the cards.

When should we do the organization for our printed greeting? I like to think that earlier is better. Please remember, if you are going to write a letter, a shorter note is better than an epistle as people usually want to hear about your activities, know the state of your health, and update your contact information.

Should you choose to send an e-mail greeting, you will have three elements to consider: Who will get my greeting? How will I go about finding one? When will I send it out? Of course, you must gather email addresses. Why not organize them into an e-mail folder so you can retrieve and updated them next year with ease? Then you must decide upon and find an appropriate email greeting that shares your feelings and values.

When should you mail the e-mail holiday greeting? May I suggest during the first week of December when most people will be in a holiday mood? When you are ready, push the button, and off your greeting will go.

My dear friends, let's organize for our holiday greetings. Let's get it done and out of the way, rather you are choosing to send a printed greeting or an e-mail one. Let's begin now! It will be a great to get organized in this way both for this year and all the years to come. Happy Holidays!

It seems that during the holiday season, we have an evening, a day, or sometimes a whole week when we are around people we don't usually spend a lot of time with otherwise. They have traveled here or maybe we've traveled there. During our time together, we are likely to have some interactions with them that can cause us to become confused, upset, and somewhat disorganized within. May I share three holiday “people” survival skills that have served me well and which may be something you'd like to think about as you approach the upcoming holiday season.

First, it is likely there will be someone who will criticize you. There may be one or even several people that will give you advice. Then, there may be an occasional person that will share a compliment. May I suggest you think for a minute about what you can anticipate from certain people during your time together and be prepared with some ready-made answers so your insides can stay ordered even as your outside “smiles”.

First of all, accept criticism with a slight smile, and this, “Thank you. I appreciate your perspective.” Don’t try to justify yourself, make excuses, explain, or give any more details. Let it stay right there. Smile and say, “Thank you very much. I appreciate your perspective.”

You might get some advice. If you do, give a little bit bigger smile and then use this phrase to deflect challenges that could incur from such a conversation, “That’s an interesting idea; I’ll have to think about it.” By saying this, you are accepting the fact that they have given you advice (which they may or may not have had the right to do), but you're also letting them know that you're still in charge. “What an interesting idea,” you might say. “I'll think about it.”

Please accept all compliments with the biggest smile of all, and if it's appropriate even a return hug. Then say, “I am so lucky to have you in my life.”

My friends, let's order the way we will get along with the important, difficult, nice and not so nice people over this holiday season with three “people” survival skills. When criticism comes, say, “Thank you. I appreciate your perspective.” Let’s accept advice with, “What an interesting idea to think about.” And let’s appreciate compliments with, “I am so lucky to have you in my life.” (Which I am!)

I was recently asked if I felt parents should encourage their children to be MADE to do their chores before they were allowed to play? It was an interesting question because I understand the value of choice. However, I also value the power of priorities and the joy which play brings because the work is DONE.

So my answer to this question and my answer to anyone interested, it that doing the “worst first” principle will make for stronger character, more accomplishment, and deeper joys than any other promoted sequence.

When doing housework, do the dusting first if you don’t like it. Then all the rest of the housework will be just slightly easier because the worst is over with.

If you have several batches of outstanding wash and really don’t enjoy folding socks, do that batch first and get it over with so the rest of the wash will be nicely pleasant.

If you need to wash the dinner dishes and don’t particularly like to sweep under the table, do it first.

When the holidays approach, there are several items which are less interesting, fun, or otherwise enjoyable for each of us. At Thanksgiving, pies are my worst. The pleasure of preparing them eludes me. So next time I am going to get them made, frozen, and off my “list”. Then all the other joys of family, food, and fun will be more to my liking. I’ll pull my pre-made pies out to share the morning of the “thankful” day and be thankful they were done first.

When Thanksgiving has past, I will do a Christmas “worst first” project. It is getting my greeting cards prepared, my letter written, and the whole job done and in the mailbox at the first of the month. I can almost feel my Christmas excitement growing with the thought. Funny, I how much I enjoy getting Christmas cards and letters from friends and family at the other end!

Good luck to you this week. Remember doing the “worst first” always makes the rest best! What will your next “worst first” project be?

I have 4 large tubs of dress up clothes, shoes, jewelry, hats, costumes, etc. for my grandchildren. I can organize them but after one visit the boxes look like a tornado whipped through them. My dilemma is creating a system my grandchildren can use that will leave the dress up clothes organized and tidy. Any advise will be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Marlene B.

First, let’s take the mess and divide it out into groups. Considering what you have indicated, it appears we could organize it as such:

1) clothes – you are right, these would best is hung on hooks, but a second best idea is confining them to a tub or two.

2) shoes – these would best be stored in a tub (and I assume one container would appropriately contain all the shoes)

3) jewelry – these could be stored individually in small ziploc bags with easy-to-pull zippers

5) costumes – the accessories for each costume might best be stored in 2-gallon ziploc bags which have been clearly labeled to contain all the items together. Then these ziploc bags would be kept in a container. The larger pieces of clothing for each costume could be kept with the other items in the clothes container.

Now, having shared how I would divide up the dress up clothes to make sense of them, I would also institute “Grandma’s Rules”. I am not yet a grandma, but I sense I will want to teach order and cleanliness, in small ways, to my grandchildren and one of the ways I could do it would be to organize all the dress-up clothes (and then put away the tubs) in anticipation of the grandchildren’s next visit.

When the grandchildren come to play next time, explain the new system of organization, showing the children the different, labeled containers, the different ziploc bags with costume accessories and jewelry, where everything goes, and how the whole should look when it is put away properly.

Then, let the children choose one tub to play with initially. After they have played, let’s say with the shoes container and put all the shoes away in the container and put the container away, ask them if they would like to try taking out two containers, playing, and returning everything back to where it belongs. This time I would let them play with, say, the shoe container and the clothes container. When they have successfully played with these, put the items back where they belong, let them try getting out a costume bag or two, playing with them, putting the costume accessories back properly, putting the ziploc costume bags back in the larger container, and neating the room back to its rightful order. And on and on…

In other words, I believe a grandma needs to teach order in her own home or she will lose a larger battle. It is “keep order now in the small things” to have order later in the bigger things with larger number of children, or “let things go from bad to worse to a total mess” which you have to clean up yourself after they have left. Not a very good scenario, in my opinion!

Knowing that some of you have opinions in this area, I would also appreciate your comments, suggestions, and personal experience. Take care now, my friends and have a good week!

Today we are going to talk about organizing recipes. There are several requirements when we collect and use recipes, especially as we put them either in a binder or a recipe box. So let's get started!

One of the biggest challenges is organizing recipes that have been collected from a newspaper, magazine, or printed off the Internet. Usually, there is no convenient place to put these recipes and they move around our lives without a definitive home. May I suggest setting up a “My Recipes Binder”. You’ll need several supplies: a 1” view binder, 20+ tabbed dividers (extra long tabs for additional title space), 100 sheet protectors, and 100 sheets of 8.5” x 11” card stock. Label the front, back, and spine of your binder. (For your convenience, you can find this file free at www.houseoforder.com/downloads.htm.) Put the cardstock in the sheet protectors, and label the tabbed dividers similar to the tabs currently in your recipe box.

It will now be very easy to store and retrieve a recipe you have collected. Simply slip it into one of the sheet protectors and file the sheet protector behind the right tabbed divider in the recipe binder. Make up a “reference” card for your recipe card box and file it behind the appropriate recipe box divider. For instance: Bagels~See MY RECIPES BINDER under Breads.

Another challenge is a recipe box that has become overly full, messy, and outdated. We will need two new sets of recipe index card dividers, some cleaning solution, and about an hour. Initially, we dump our recipes completely out, wipe off our recipe box, inside and out, and open our new sets of recipe card dividers. If available, some clear recipe card covers can be put onto our recipe cards to further insure future cleanliness as we sort through and refile them.

Begin by taking the recipes and sorting them in three piles. First pile: those recipes you don't want anymore. Second pile: those which are used frequently. Third pile: those recipes which are classic, i.e. ones you want to keep but you really don't need them very often. The obsolete recipes can be discarded. The “frequently used” recipes go behind the first set of recipe card dividers according to their type. The classical or special recipes go behind the second set of recipe card dividers, according to the various topics. And, lastly prepare reference cards for recipes in the “My Recipes Binder”.

My friends, it is great to get your recipes organized! It'll make it easier to cook, easier to set up your Master Menu, and much easier to serve your family delicious, nutritious meals with a little bit of variety. Take good care now and remember, you can come to www.houseoforder.com/downloads.htm for a free “My Recipes Binder” front, back and spine download.

I haven't done much “motel” traveling in my life. But I have traveled a lot in the last few months. I have learned several things to take, things to do, and things to avoid.

1 – When you make your reservations, ask for an upper floor room, away from the stairwell, on the quiet side of the motel. This will make your walk longer, but you will sleep better and be less interrupted by early morning leavings and late night comings.

2 – When you arrive at the motel, make sure you have sufficient “complimentary” toiletries to make for a nice night's stay before you begin to settle in, get ready for your shower, and find that the shampoo or a goodly number of bath towels are missing.

3 – Bring a small night light. Most motels seems to have the light switch attached to the fan which makes midnight trips to the bathroom a family affair instead of a private one. A “small” night light will give you or someone else what is needed, just as much as is needed, without the fanfare.

4 – Take a second, last look around the motel room before leaving. You might have everything of yours packed and in the car, but someone you love just might have overlooked his or her treasures. Better to double check now rather than double back later.

5 – A pen flashlight will help you find what you might need, too, after all others have retired. This might be pain medication for that oncoming headache or a kleenex to handle the snuffles. Having this at your bedside helps makes your nighttime suitcase search quieter and more efficient.

6 – Despite all other opportunities, have a private stash of personal toiletries, needs, and luxuries. It just might not be available and you just might need it. Only bring small containers and small quantities, but if you use “it” regularly, bring “it” along.

7 – If you plan to travel again within a short period of time, leave the toiletries you used in the suitcase for next time, which will make the second trip's preparation easier and faster.

8 – A final treasure is a small roll of duct or moving tape. This is used to overlap the curtains sufficiently to make your room reasonably dark for sleeping. Otherwise that slit and the exterior light which enters often keeps you awake or awakens you before morning.

9 - Of course, traveling with your own pillow makes for a better night's sleep and a battery alarm keeps you independent, so these and other small additions will add to your comfort and the ease of your trip.

10 - Traveling and motel staying can be fun, but it will also be more pleasant if you are prepared to stay “your” way with all of your needs. Happy traveling!

Today I would like to share several ideas for keeping your refrigerator organized. This is one place in our homes which is often rather chaotic because so many people use it. However, there are several things that we can do to keep the refrigerator organized, workable, and otherwise serving us instead of worrying us.

First, establish standard places where you keep milk, eggs, meats, fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, and some proteins (which includes cheeses, yogurts and deli meats). Of course, the milk, meats, and eggs should probably go on shelves, whereas your vegetables, fruits, and proteins might be allocated to drawers.

Second, designate a shelf for “eat all you want”. This saves many a trauma when mother goes to find dinner only to discover her teenage sons have eaten it thinking it was leftovers. So there should be a shelf which is “have at it” and another shelf which is “please don’t touch, this is tonight’s dinner”.

Third, it is also helpful to keep like items with like items. Keep the condiments together, canned fruits together, and cold drinks together. It’s a great idea to put your condiments in a larger container so when you pull out the mustard, you also pull out the relish and the catsup, making it easier to put what you like on hot dogs with a single trip and a one-handed motion.

Fourth, think carefully about what to put in the door of your refrigerator. This should be a place for “A” items, those treasures which you pull out of the refrigerator frequently such as milk, drinks, and sack lunches. Sometimes those shelves will be empty because things will be coming in and out. Also, the door should not be crowded with things that you very rarely use such as bottles of exotic pickles or maraschino cherries.

Fifth, when you refill your refrigerator as you go grocery shopping, remember to put old behind new. This keeps the milk fresh, and helps keep everybody happy when it’s time for cold cereal in the morning.

Sixth, I encourage you to clean out the refrigerator every Saturday evening to keep the blues, the greens, the molds, and the bad smells at bay. Serve some kind of eggs to fill out the meal such as fried eggs, scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, or even eggs in a basket.

I also encourage you to wipe down the refrigerator just before you go grocery shopping, which is the easiest and best time to find more of the shelves empty or mostly empty.

My dear friends, order your fridge, organize it. Let’s make this place in our house a tool that works in an orderly manner. Take good care now.

Today I would like to talk about getting organized for the holidays. Yes, I know Halloween will be first and Thanksgiving will be after that, but the holidays and the pressures they bring are coming upon us very quickly.

It is time to prepare an “Organized for the Holidays” binder. This is a very simple project, one which I am going to sell on my Internet site, but which you can also set up yourself with supplies you may have around the house or can find at a local office supply store.

You will need three full-page calendars for the months of November, December, and January. These can often be printed off the computer. This will allow you to mark out those days when you will not be available to get ready for the holidays because you have commitments and other pressures. This way you can plan some pacing for preparing for upcoming needs. No matter when the holidays happen during the week, most of our preparations would best be done by the end of the previous week. In addition to that, many of us will have children coming home from school the sometime before the holidays begin. So much of our holidays preparations should really be wrapped up and done by the middle of December.

An “Organized for the Holidays” binder is made by putting these three full-page calendars in the front of a one-inch view binder (which will be labeled on the spine, front, and back with “Organized for the Holidays”). You will want to purchase five dividers and label them: To Do, To Give, Decorate, Entertain, To Buy. Then, in the back of your binder put a sheet protector with a heavy piece of card stock, which is been labeled “Receipts”. You will also want sheets of lined paper upon which to do your planning and maybe even a pencil holder for pens, pencils, coupons, and a calculator.

I encourage you this week to get started on your holiday preparations by preparing your “Organized for the Holidays” binder, putting the calendars in front, purchasing and labeling the dividers, and getting everything all set up. What will happen because of this preparation? Ideas will come to you about that piece of clothing you can easily give away and you can now make a written note. You will find a magazine description of a project you would like to do and now you have a place to keep it safe. A gift that you would like to get your husband this year or maybe your father or maybe the neighbor will occur to you and you can now make a list of items to purchase. You have one central place for all this information to go! When you begin to buy items, you have a place to put your receipts. And, when more ideas come, you have a place to write them down.

So be sure to get your “Organized for the Holidays” binder up and running now. It will make for a smoother, quicker, easier, nicer, and much more organized holiday season. Take good care now my friends and remember, you can come to www.houseoforder.com and purchase the pre-printed “Organized for the Holidays” binder or you can get one going on your own. Take good care this week.

Today, I'd like to explore 2008 just a little bit. You see, I needed a 2008 calendar the other day for a planning session and I didn't have one of my fingertips. When this happens in my life now, i.e. I need something for the first time, I am trying to respond with what I call “early preparation”. Yes, I know I might not needed a 2008 calendar again for another few weeks or even a month or two, but the initial need has risen into my life and it is time to get ready. (This also relieves November and December of this preparatory activity.)

You will notice I have free downloads for three different 2008 calendars as these are the ones I use the most: a whole-page calendar, a half-page calendar, and then twelve different monthly planner calendars (the ones with the lines). Print those you can use as many times as you need. Put them in your kitchen, at your desk, in the car, and in your planner. As things come up, comments are made, and questions are asked, you can now have a 2008 calendar right at your fingertips.

You will noticed we will have a longer February in 2008 and Easter will be quite early (March 23), Mother’s and Father’s Day will be earlier in the month, Independence Day is on a Friday as is Halloween, and Labor Day happens on the first day of September. Christmas Day will be later in the week this time around, too.

Also, I would like to suggest a fun family activity. If you memorize the following 12 numbers, you can do quite a bit of calculation about the year 2008 without having a calendar in front of you at all. Those numbers are 632-641-637-527. These are the dates of the first Sundays of each month throughout 2008. If you keep these numbers in your head or even write them down at a convenient place, it will be very easy for you to go from there to figure out the date of the day you were looking for in any month throughout the year.

So when the first instance of a need occurs, order remains in our lives if we respond, as soon as practicable, to this necessity. Good luck, my friends and remember, it is rarely too early to be ready and prepared. Take good care now!

Today I’m sharing ideas about organizing your internet usernames and passwords. When I work with people, this is often a very confusing place in their lives. Most are somewhat dysfunctional when it comes to their Internet usernames and passwords. They have a piece of information here, a little bit there, and sometimes nowhere at all (except their very busy head). They don’t want to tell their computer to remember their usernames and passwords on all their accounts, because some things are rather private. Also, while it is convenient to have the computer remember their usernames, email addresses, and passwords on many other accounts, they would also like a backup hard copy. They are afraid if they write this information down somewhere, someone else will inappropriately use it.

However, we must set up a useable system to keep this information in a specific “hard copy” location even as we protect the contents. I have prepared an “Internet Username and Password” form. You are welcome to download this file to help get your Internet usernames and passwords more organized.

It is important this “hard copy” information be set aside in a somewhat private location even as it is kept convenient enough to refer to as needed. In addition, you may want to use asterisks at key places as you record your user names, email addresses, and passwords to keep some information private (which you will readily remember but which will not be known to a stranger who might accidentally find the “spec” sheet).

If this information is kept systematically in one place, your Internet interaction will be much easier. You’ll be able to easily access pages which are important to you no matter how infrequently you might return to them. The information will be intact just as you desire.

Please be careful, and please know it’s important this information is kept safe, but it is also important it is kept using a complete and accurate system. By using this tool and these methods, your life will improve dramatically on and off the Internet. Take good care.

Today I would like to share some ideas about 20-year mapping. One of the ways we can holistically organize for our future is to understand where our family is going to go over the next few years. There is now a free form, 20-Year Map, under the download tab. You are welcome to use it for your own needs or you can make your own 20-year map by drawing 1-2” columns and rows on a clean sheet of paper.

1) Label the columns across the top row with the years from now until twenty years from now, for example 2007 to 2027.

2) In the rows on the first column down, list the names of individual family members: Father, Mother, Tom, David, Brian, Jenn, and Tyler.

3) Indicate in each appropriate box across the row the age each person will be during the year listed at the top of the sheet. So a child born in 2006 will be 1 in 2007, 2 in 2008, and etc.

4) Also note in each appropriate box potential significant events in each of the person’s life: when your children enter elementary school, turn eight years old, enter junior high, turn 12, 14, and 16, enter high school, be eligible to drive, turn 19, graduate from high school and possibly enter college or vocational school. When will they likely graduate from advanced educational institutions, consider marriage for the first time, and so forth?

5) It will also be important to note the significant years in your own life. When will you be turning 30, 35, 40, 45, and 50? When will you have no one home during the day if you are a stay at home mom, when will your husband retire, and when will you be of retirement age?

6) As a note, sometimes people even make up their maps for 30 or 40 years to show a broader spectrum of their life’s situation.

Such mapping will show you the possible scenarios and challenges, financial needs, and emotional strains as you and they mature together. It give you a sampling of what you can expect as the years pass and help you understand the pressures that will come in.

Most importantly, it will show you how few years there are between now and when the children that are home will be leaving for one reason or other. This gives impetus to focus and clarifies the home training needed for our children. I encourage you to make up a 20-year map either by coming to my web page and downloading it or by making up your own on the computer or by hand. What will you and your family be doing over the next 20 years?

This organizational time map will be very valuable to help you see what you can expect during the next twenty years and help you organize so you can be ready for your future, having taught them well, and focused on what really mattered.

I’ve had the unique opportunity recently to go urban camping. Now, this recreation may be new to some of you, so I will fill you in on some of the details. You see, myself, my son, and another medical student drove across the country in two vehicles, staying at hotels and friend's homes along the way during a three-day adventure. We suffered for none of the niceties of life as we went.

We arrived in Columbus, Ohio early enough in the afternoon to unload the truck and get all the items up to the third floor apartment by sundown. Then we attempt to figure things out. Where was the toilet paper? Toilet paper! It was packed somewhere…. Soap? Shampoo? Towels? Shower curtain? Dave #2 (yes both young men are named Dave) had that in his suitcase, thanks to his thoughtful mom. But how to hang it? We used orange twine from one of the boxes.

Hand and liquid soap, paper goods, and a plastic bowl for food all became items of great value, as did my personal stash of napkins until we found the toilet paper the next morning. We even had to scrounge sheets for the mattresses and wonderfully-used front room couch (where I slept comfortably after a such good afternoon and evening's work).

So, if I were to pack again for such a trip which would include overnight “urban camping” during the first night at a new apartment, I would have brought the following in my suitcase: toilet paper, personal washcloth and towel, two flat sheets, shampoo in small bottle, small bar of hand soap, and shower curtain holders. Yes, some of these items I should have had in my personal toiletries, but I hadn't thought of everything!

Most importantly, for me, was that the small things made me highly uncomfortable. I was neither prepared for the challenge nor had means to solve my problems without a trip to a store (which was inconvenient because of the late hour).

So, if you want to order your life for “urban camping”, something which you might have to do sometime in case of emergency (other than moving into an apartment), just live without any and everything that you normally use in everyday life for an afternoon and/or evening and get a sense of just how much you might miss q-tips, some kleenex, or toilet paper. Then, do yourself a favor and buy up a year's supply; yes, a whole year's supply. You will sleep better at night knowing that with all that might happen in case of your own “urban camping”, you will be comfortable, presentable and have a full tummy!

I’ve been a hurry a lot these past few weeks. It seems my commitments have stacked themselves one upon another without relief and I am trying to keep too many people happy all at once. As my schedule has tightened, I have noticed that my joy in life has diminished. I believe this is because hurrying doesn't allow us to deeply enjoy the small pleasures of each day.

We only have so much capacity to soak in life. If we are always worrying about getting there on time, finishing up the dishes before we have to go, remembering to put everything in our vehicle, and being upset with the kids because they are so slow....well, life loses its treasures.

May I suggest that working things just a bit so we can walk slower, drive slower, and talk slower (or actually converse at all), we will begin to enjoy life more? Our tension will go, our spirits will rise, and our moods will improve.

Imagine what our families and coworkers will think when we walk unhurriedly into the room, smile with assurance and leisure, and then proceed with a confident, but leisurely gait? All this is possible if we can be just a little bit early, start a little sooner, leave a bit before we really need to, and have things in order before we must go.

This next week, may I encourage you to watch your own routines and look for ways and places where you might slow.......way down. Really, it is only a few minutes that makes a big difference.

Can you arise three minutes earlier? Can you put the kids' lunches together the night before? Can you decide what you will wear before you retire? Can you find other, simple ways to slow it down.....

As you do, especially if you are watching for the treasures of life, you will have time to divert to smell the yellow rosebuds in your front yard, watch the hawk land while you wait at a stop light, and smile at the bus driver as you leave the children off for school.

Everything can be different. It is just a few minutes, going a bit slower, and taking the hurry out of your life. Try it, you will definitely like it!

I have had a more complex summer than any other in my life. It has been a time when I couldn't make major mistakes, couldn't leave things behind, and couldn't retrace my steps without difficult challenges. In order for things to work for me and my family, I found the best skill to use was to “think it through”. I usually did this at night when I began to worry. Have I remembered everything? Will I have what I need when I need it? What will happen if I don't think clearly?

When I moved from worry to “thinking it through”, I did a sort of role playing. In my mind, I would get up in the specific “upcoming” morning I was worrying about and dress myself, thus confirming what clothes I needed to pack. I would walk through what tools and materials I might need for my day's activities, thus clarifying what I need to put aside for those needs. I would walk through (in my head) the sequence of the day's responsibilities, events, and pressures and see where I might have holes in my thought processes, preparations, and possibilities.

You see, I have had a son return from a foreign country. I have had another son marry out of state (a beautiful and marvelously intelligent young woman, my first “daughter”). I have had a third son move to Columbus, Ohio to begin medical school who needed a navigator and companion for the trip. I have had a fourth son graduate from the University of Georgia and wanted help moving to his new job at the Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge.

In addition to these many differing activities, I needed to make all these preparations before the first began because there wouldn't be much time between events to mentally prepare for the next. It would be “go, go, go” which is not conducive to thinking clearly.

You may have the same kind of pressure coming up in your life. It might be as simple as a day trip to another city, or preparing for a presentation at the convention center, or planning what to pack for a small vacation.

Thinking it through, writing down your thoughts, and then going to work really took the strain from my summer. It can do the same for you! So when worry sets in, turn your mind to role playing and reasoning. It can make all the difference. And, if you do forget something, at least you will forget less than otherwise, and feel more confident with each day's demands.

When you move, sometime you don't completely, completely move. You just get most of your stuff into the new place and somewhere in the unpacking process, you stop moving. Some boxes get left in the garage still stacked and neglected, or they might even get into your basement or closets, but they are still unpacked and their contents unused.

One woman asked me the other day if she should just take her unpacked, still-stored-in-the-garage moving boxes right to the thrift store because she hasn't looked at them for five years and hasn't needed any items out of them. Yes, yes, yes. If you haven't finished unpacking and haven't used the items (and they aren't sentimental, valuable, or worthy for family history needs) out they go.

Other times, the unpacking gets all done, but the moving boxes are left around, sometimes stuffed with crumpled newspaper, peanuts, or cardboard dividers. While they are useful and might even be needed sooner than later, let's get the packing peanuts and paper into a large garbage bag, the boxes flattened, the all these items “deep” stored. You don't need to feel like you are going to move again soon every time you enter the basement or garage just because you never finished moving in this last time.

So let's get done with the “finishing” of your last move, whether it was six months, six weeks, or six days ago. With all the diligence you can muster, put off starting “life” again until you have finished moving. Yes, don't start any new projects until you have “set up shop” and are done with this last move. If that means taking unopened boxes to the thrift store, so be it. Yes, you might want to open each of them to make sure that personal, embarrassing or useless items won't be donated, but no cheating. If you don't need it, you don't it need. Anonymously share it again with someone. You will never know where it goes, you will never see its use again, but neither will you be burdened with unfinished packing.

In the same way, if that means an afternoon in the garage slitting the tape of those “great” moving boxes and flattening them, let's get to it. Throw out the non-useful, bent or weak boxes. Get rid of the packing material that has shed or disintegrated past usefulness. Finish, finish, finish.

Sometimes, I believe we don't finish the move because we get distracted as those around us want to take up regular life again before we finished right, right after the move. More often, we have become ill from the stress and cultural shock and by the time we are back on our feet, we are behind without much chance to catch up, let alone finish the move. But now it is time to complete this important project and “set up shop”. Everything will be different and better when you have settled in. If you don't like this place, wished you hadn't move here in the first place, and even are waiting for a chance to be gone, keeping the move half done won't help things a bit. Its like people who keep their skinny clothes in a hope of losing weight. It just doesn't work. Neither does “half” moving. You will be happier and things will work better longer if you are “done”.

So my challenge to you is to look around your house. Rarely have I coached at a home that doesn't have a box here or there unopened and unused from the last move. Find it (or them), search and decide, and be done. It is nice to finally be “home” and settled down!

This past month I have helped my son move across the country in a moving van (which we packed and unpacked ourselves). His car was attached to a trailer behind and a new roommate followed us in his own car after loading his personal items behind my son's own in the truck. I have learned a lot, some of which I would like to share, as our mistakes need not be repeated in your packing and moving.

1 - Rent plenty of blankets from the moving company. These should be carefully put around, over, behind and in front of all furniture items which will touch each other. Otherwise, when you drive, the inevitable road bumps cause friction scars which can be avoided with the judicious use of these “moving” blankets.

2- Rent a larger hand truck (with a strap). This will facilitate moving the bulky items up stairs and on and off the truck. Even if items won't go up the stairs easily on the hand truck, once they are on the right floor, they can be transported down halls and into rooms more readily.

3 – Pack as many items as possible in standardized boxes: small, medium and large. This makes it easy to load the truck because most boxes can be readily stacked. Clearly mark light-weight and fragile boxes as they must packed near the top to avoid crushing.

4 - When packing the boxes, put heavy items in small boxes (for instance, books), medium-weight items in mid-sized boxes (pans and kitchen utensils), and bulky, large items in oversized boxes (my favorite are the sturdy “apple” boxes often found at the produce department of your local grocery store). Pack each box as full as possible and then put crushed newspaper or scratch paper, or clothes and linens around the items until the box is completely full. This keeps each box from being crushed at the corners and also protects the contents.

If you are packing simply, label the boxes on both ends with “STAY PACKED” (items of low importance) or “STAY OUT” (items of high importance). This will help you know which boxes are essential to “first day” survival. If you have a complicated situation, also label each box with the room where it should be put once you arrive at your destination. This will facilitate getting the boxes in the right location for easy opening.

5- Know your “new” home well enough so you can direct others (or know yourself) where to leave the floor empty for the mattress (so you can get a good night's sleep if you don't get the beds made up the first night). Leave the same floor areas empty to locate couches, pianos, end tables, and other bulky furniture near where their “final” location will be. No need to move heavy items twice.

6 – Pack an “essentials” box or two. These boxes are full of fundamentals which will make your first night at your new location easier to manage. We forgot that new apartments don't come with toilet paper, hand soap, and paper cups. We went without washing our hands and drank directly from the tap, but what substitute can you easy find for toilet paper? So think about your everyday needs, and pack a special, last-on the truck box accordingly.

With these moving tips incorporated into your next move, your companions will find you brilliant and you will feel much more contented until you’re comfortably moved in.

In order to simplify our lives we have four choices: 1) Eliminate, 2) Reduce, 3) Postpone, and 4) Systemize.

Many of us have “bogs” in our routines, schedules, and habits. These are places where we approach life with too much chaotic spontaneity. So, to gain control of our menus, for instance, we have to eliminate, reduce, postpone, and systemize. We can ELIMINATE from our regular menus any difficult and time-consuming recipes, we can REDUCE the number of “uncomfortable” meals we will attempt, we can POSTPONE to another season of our lives trying all the recipes in our overfull “recipes to try” drawer, and we can SYSTEMIZE our menus so we know just what we will be having for each dinner for the next month.

Do you have other “bogs” in your life? Bill paying, mending, laundry, or paperwork? If so, think through the four steps to simplification: eliminate, reduce, postpone and/or systemize.

These form an acronym of sorts: S=SPER, So go for it. Spear something right at the heart and conquer your “bog”. Simplification will make life so much easier.

I am off and running to Brigham Young University-Idaho’s Education Week for four days. Hope you have a great week, too. Good luck!

Today I would like to share ideas about ordering your family’s emotional life so conflict is eliminated (or at least reduced) and challenges are worked through without hitting. I taught a class yesterday and found that in the families of all seven of these ten-year-old children hitting was a common way of resolving conflict between them and their siblings.

This was somewhat dismaying to me because I believe children that hit will become adults that hit, whether it be as husband or wife, or as parents inappropriately hitting their children. When children are left to hit without teaching them how to resolve conflicts verbally, we are producing a generation that cannot appropriately cope with the pressures of life.

May I encourage you today to begin an initiative in your own family: “We don’t hit in our family.” Begin to teach your children not to hit each other. You can simply say, “We don’t hit in the Smith family.” This will be a little difficult at first because children are very apt at hitting. Very, very small children will often hit or slap you in the face. One of the best ways to work through this is to simply hold their hand softly, but firmly and say, “Hitting is not permitted.” They, of course, will do it again just to see what will happen. Again hold their hand and in a soft but firm voice say, “Hitting is not permitted.” Repeat this over and over again.

When older children squabble with each other and begin hitting, you have to separate them to resolve the issues and work with them to verbalize what they are feeling, what happened, and how to find answers. You have to teach them to resolve their challenges by talking through their challenges. Teach them that mature people do not hit to resolve problems. They talk through their problems. If your children aren’t quite ready to do that right after the squabble, separate them until they have cooled down and are a bit more teachable.

I encourage you also to work with your spouse and come up with ways to work through the friction which often happens in a marriage and which might lead, from time to time, to physical hitting. This simply cannot be the best way to have order at home.

So begin a “no hitting” initiative this week with your family: “We don’t hit each other.” Please know that if you do this there will be more peace and harmony between your children. There will be more love between you and your spouse. And there will be more order in your life in general. There will be chance for a new generation to grow up learning how to peacefully handle life’s many pressures.

Right about now, it is time to begin a “September List”. This is a list of all those things which keep running around in your pretty little head that need doing and aren’t going to get done any time soon.

You see, summer activities, vacations, visitors, and other pressures move us away from our regular routines. We lose the important, and often very essential cadence to our lives….thus the importance of the “September List”.

Begin it now, noting those things which will need doing eventually but can wait while you carve watermelon, take the kids to swimming lessons, hike that mountain with your family, and bandage those scrapped knees.

Your mind will relax and rest and your soul can make memories because now the “September List” will keep the pressures preserved in writing until everyone is settled down into a routine again with the coming of Fall. Then you can tackle that list.

Happy Independence Day to you all. I have a birthday this Thursday, so Happy Birthday to me and to any other of you July babies!

I visit a lot of homes at all times of the day and I find families in all states of order and disarray. I have learned an important principle as I have been coaching this summer. A wise mother will encourage her children to get ready for the day BEFORE they watch cartoons, play with their friends, or start a personal project. There are core activities every child, teenager, and adult should be taught to do in order to appropriately “get ready for the day”. These simple but repetitive habits will lay a solid foundation both for ourselves and our children even in the luxury and leisure of summer days.

May I suggest that every family member should make his or her bed and straighten up their room as the first core activity. Second, they should get dressed and put their pajamas away as the second core activity. And third, they should prepare their breakfast, clean up after themselves, and brush their teeth as the third core activity. With young children you might use the shape of a triangle indicating that each point represents a different core activity: 1) making your bed and straightening your room. 2) Getting dressed and putting your pajamas away. 3) Eating your breakfast, cleaning up after yourself, and brushing your teeth.

Now I realize many of you have children and teenagers in different states of maturity and sometimes it doesn’t necessarily match their age. So we start small and simple. We motivate with the if/then principle. IF you get ready for the day, THEN you may watch morning cartoons. IF you get ready for the day, THEN you may play with your friends. IF you get ready for the day in a timely manner, THEN you may get out your craft project.

Please look at the morning routines of your family. It is in the simplest of habits, in the regular routines, and in the consistent insistence on a day-to-day basis that we lay the foundation for order in the lives of those over whom we have stewardship.

I encourage each you to teach your family to GET READY FOR THE DAY: Make your bed and straighten your room. Get dressed and put your pajamas away. Eat your breakfast, clean up, and brush your teeth. Good luck, my friends and I do hope you're enjoying your summertime activities and that your family members will be amenable to help out by getting themselves “ready for the day” each and every day!

Today I would like to talk about 15-minute miracles. So many times when I personally coach, people struggle with where to start, how to start ,what to do, and how to incorporate the best methods. While these are important questions, the real challenge for them, and for most of us, is simply getting to work.

Many people want to change, they want to do things differently, they want clean up their desk, organize the dishes, or redo the laundry room. But change is very difficult and so they never quite get to it. Change, however, can be made easier with consistent forward progress. There is nothing like setting a timer for 15 minutes and practicing at organizing with focus. If you do that every day for a week, you will find that your personal environment, your home, and your office desk will become more organized simply because you “got to it”.

As much as having the right method, knowing how to make the right decisions, and having the right tools, simply getting going is what needs doing. I have visited a home this morning and helped a friend who is disabled at the moment. I worked with her children cleaning off the top of the refrigerator, soaking the dishes, and cleaning up the kitchen counters. Fifteen minutes later we were all astounded at how much so little work could do.

This week, may I encourage you and your family is to have a 15-minute miracle time, where you organize something. Clean up the magazine rack, tackle the junk drawer in your kitchen, or work with the boxes along the garage wall. A 15-minute timer can make a difference, because it will get everyone moving, get something accomplished, and bring improvement, change, and accomplishment.

So my friends, in the middle of heat of summer, with all of the other challenges and commitments that you have, may I ask and encourage you to choose a project, find 15 minutes, take your timer, set it, and work on that little project and watch the miracles of organization began to happen in your life.

Please feel free to e-mail me about your 15-minute miracle this week. Take care now.

Today I would like to speak about a delicate but very important skill for anyone trying to bring more order to his or her life. It is the skill of teaching others to wait. I believe one of the great challenges in life is knowing when to stop, how fast to respond, and what to do when others call for us, when the phone rings, or children require our attention.

I believe we will bring greater order in our lives by not trying to be everything to everyone all the time. May I give you a case in point: you are folding laundry and your child says, “Mom, I need you to come and ….”. Generally, we drop what we are doing and run to the child's aid. If the child is capable of understanding the concept of waiting, we might do better to say, “Johnny, I would be happy to come and help you. However, I have about three more minutes of folding towels, two more minutes of putting them away, and then I'll be there.” What this does is it allows us to come to finishing points, mini-finishing points though they may be, so we have places of finishing in our routines.

So, the concept simply is this: As you go through life and your children mature, or your teenagers and husband are cooperative, or your coworkers and elderly parents are understanding, let them know you are happy to come, but you would appreciate if they would wait (if only momentarily) so you can come to a finishing point. “Yes, mom I hear you calling. I'll be there in just a bit. I just need to put the spaghetti in the casserole and turn on the oven.” Or, when you answer the phone and a request is made to run an errand, say, “You know, honey, I would be happy to do that for you. However, I am in the middle of scrubbing the kitchen floor. It will take me about 20 minutes to finish and then I'll be happy to leave. Will that work?” If we begin to do this, when circumstances are such that we do have that opportunity, we bring our life to places of finishing. The laundry gets folded and put away, the kitchen floor gets scrubbed and the chairs get put back down, and dinner gets ready. We feel more in control.

At the same time, we are also instilling a sense of self-respect in ourselves and teaching others to respect us. So may I encourage you to observe carefully your interactions this next week and see where you are jumping the gun, where you are responding too quickly; and, therefore, leaving the task at hand undone in favor of helping someone else right away. Work just a little bit towards helping others wait, if even just momentarily, so you can come to a wonderful, complete, and sensible finishing point.

Today I would like to speak about ordering your life with summertime clothing standards. I do not particularly care, as we discuss this, what your standards of modesty are. (Well, actually I do, but I will leave those decisions to your best judgment.) What I would like to encourage, though, is to order your family life so that there are standards!

This helps children in three ways. First, children tend to grow up more morally safe when standards are sent, because in their own mind there are barriers of behavior, dress, language, and action that had been imposed by their family, and it helps them to help self-impose standards of their own. Deciding upon family clothing standards is a first, good step in that direction. Second, children learn there is clothing that is appropriate and inappropriate from your family's point of view. It is important to talk about these things to before your daughter or your son brings home the first piece of clothing that raises your husband's eyebrows and causes your own mouth to drop. Third, your children will likely push against those family standards more than once and it is important there are carefully clarified parental parameters.

May I suggest that if you are married and have a spouse you discuss what those standards mean to both of you. Then continue the discussion with your whole family so the standards are set before the clothing is purchased, borrowed, or worn. If you do not want your girls to have midriff exposure, they should know that before they bring home the piece of clothing that shows that tiny piece of skin. If you want his pants to be a certain length, that should be discussed before purchases are made.

As you approach “family dress standards”, you and your spouse may want to talk about what your standards will be: how low or high will necklines be, will exposed cleavage be in your best interests, and how short will the shorts be? Will see-through or partially see-through fabric be allowed? Sleeveless, two piece swimsuits, short shorts? Will off-the-hip pants be endured?

I cannot encourage you too much to discuss this with your spouse, then discuss it with your children. This will order your life and your family's life from the inside and out so that each member of your family knows what your clothing standards are in easy-to-state terms. It will help your children feel safe. It'll help you be more comfortable around your teenage children, and it will teach and train them to respond appropriately when shopping and when dressing.

It is always easier to set standards before the issue becomes an issue than to wait and have to cajole, persuade, or endure!

Today I would like to share some ideas about organizing for summer jobs. There are four important concepts to consider as we approach summer jobs for our family members.

First, tell them what jobs they will be doing. Second, teach them how to do the jobs so they will be done to an acceptable standard. Third, time them for several days. This helps introduce the concept that “if you do a job repetitively and are diligent you can not only do it better, but at the same time, you can do it faster”. And, finally, S.I. which is the concept of self-initiative, one of the most important principles a young child, a teenager, or even an adult learns. There is great satisfaction in doing your jobs without being asked.

All children and teenagers need to have jobs in the summer because anyone that lives in a home should participate in maintaining it. I encourage you to tell your children this is part of this upcoming summer’s activities and introduce simple but repetitive jobs they can do to make the load lighter for maintaining the home, cleaning the yard, and keeping up with the laundry.

Take plenty of time, at the beginning, to teach them the right way to do each job. If this teaching is not done appropriately, there will be frustration, sullenness, and disappointment all through the long summer months. Work with the children and a timer to show them they can get better each and every time they do their chores with some diligence. Lastly, introduce “SI”. These are the initials for self-initiative. Reward them generously for any self-initiative that is shown in an appropriate way. For instance, use special colored glasses for those members of your family who do anything during the day using their SI. When they show self initiative, let everyone know about it. It becomes a symbol of their achievements and their willingness to cooperate. I know there’s just a few weeks before summer will be upon us and our children will be “more” at home. So let’s take time to tell, to teach, to time our children so they get better at their jobs, and finally to introduce the concept of SI.

Have a good week, my friends, and may this summertime be more fulfilling as you and your whole family move towards a more orderly life.

Today I would like to share some insights about fatigue, weariness and the general tiredness I see day after day, week after week as I work with women.

I rarely meet a woman that is really very lazy. On the other hand, I need many, many women that push themselves way past reasonable limits. When we do this, it takes longer for us to accomplish our tasks and responsibilities. We response by becoming cranky, we oversleep the next day or sometimes if the demands of life make it impossible for us to stop before we are weary, we really do have long days.

It seems that somewhere along the line we have decided that weariness, fatigue, and the other sleep challenges shouldn't exist in “our” life and we can push ourselves to stay up too late, to work at a project past weariness, to keep up a hectic pace day after day, week after week while at the same time hoping it will not affect our general well-being and our health. It is very, very important to understand that weariness is a great enemy to having an orderly life.

I would like to talk about some reality checks that each of us needs to take for a minute. Probably no one is going to give you a “rest period” for the rest of your life. It is up to you and I to take the rests that we need. This means taking a moment to sit down and play with the baby, or take five minutes and sit on the back steps and drink your afternoon soda, or even taking a half-hour after the baby has gone to sleep, if you're a new mother, and sit down to read.

Also, take notice of when you have your slumps of weariness periods during the day. For myself, I'm pretty good till about 11:30 in the morning and then I have a little slump. In the afternoon, I have a great big drop-off slump right around 4 p.m. It is important during these “weariness” periods each day to stop before you're too tired. Take a short breather, maybe change our activity from up to down, from vigorous to boring, or from stimulating to routine so your body can last through the slum (with or without that much needed nap). This will give you strength and energy to go on. Please know it is up to us to go a little bit slower (i.e. rest for a minute or two) so that we can go a little bit longer. It is up to us to stop and rest.

I have been experimenting and have found that even a five-minute change of routine, yes just a five-minute switch, makes a tremendous difference. You may want to try it yourself. The few minutes, time spent on the back doorstep looking at the mountains, the sky, and the roses, a moment with my nose in a book, a change of routine to slow me down, helps me get past my weariness so I can continue with the projects and people for which I'm responsible.

Take good care now and look at your weariness periods this next week to see what you can do about them. Remember, take charge so you can rest before you're too tired to go on. It is the better way to a more orderly life!

Let’s talk about organizing for “the day after”. The other day I had a major event in my life with company in our home, pleasantries passed all around, a little bit of gift giving, and the sharing of delicious refreshments. The next morning I faced what I like to call THE DAY AFTER. I believe we must effectively organize for the day following major events in order to keep our pacing intact. Otherwise, we might lose control of the entire following week.

I would like to suggest we plan on four activities so “the day after” goes a little bit smoother. First, keep “the day after” free of any other major obligations. If you have a big party in your home on Tuesday don't plan on doing other important projects on Wednesday, because you will need extra time. Keep that extra time safe for your “day after” needs.

Second, plan time to clean up. I found sticky fingerprints on the door handle of my bathroom and realized one of the young children visiting our home had put her sticky fingers many places in the bathroom and there was need for this unexpected cleanup in addition to the general vacuuming, sweeping, taking out the garbage, and picking up all the little bits of this and that which always happens when there are parties in your home.

Third, there needs to be time for you to call those that sponsored your party or special friends that attended the event so you can remember the good times together via phone. There will also need to be time for you to write your thank yous to those that had brought refreshments or traveled a particularly long distance. In all these cases, they will appreciate that second thank you and you will have effectively expressed your sincere gratitude.

Finally, plan some time for a potential nap. I don’t know why the same amount of time spent in high energy activities causes us to be so weary, but if we realize that on “the day after” we will be tired, we will handle the effects and the feelings just a little better.

During this month of May, Mother's Day is coming up, Memorial Day weekend is coming soon, and for some of you that will be graduations. In all these cases, we need to plan for “the day after” needs. Cleaning up, verbal thanks yous, written thank yous, and a possible nap. For myself, in May I will be adding a son returning from Brazil after two year’s absence and a son’s wedding. Lot’s of “days after” coming up!

Take care now and may your “days after” this month be more pleasant because you planned for them.

Today we are going to talk about being frazzled, frustrated, and frumpy. I would like to discuss this everyday challenge in our lives and offer some suggestions to move to being focused, making it fun, and even somewhat easy.

In our lives there are certain areas where we just really don't like our jobs. It might be the dusting, the vacuuming, the laundry, or the dishes. It might even be five of those things! May I encourage you to focus on one of these challenges this week. Sit back and look at the activity, the responsibility, or the chore and see what you can do to move from feeling frustrated, frazzled, and frumpy.

May I suggest we dress one level higher than our mood so even when we are doing the laundry, the gardening, the dishes, or taking care of the children, we feel a little pretty. Let's look at our routines and see what we can do to make that job a little easier. Do we need to buy some better tools, do we need to paint a wall to make the area cheery, do we need to organize things so doing the job is a little bit more pleasant?

Lastly, let's move from being frazzled. Usually we feel frazzled when we are trying to do too much into little time. In many women's lives, if I can get them to delete about 10% of their pressures, there is a significant improvement in their capacity to take care of their most important responsibilities. So this week look at your laundry, your dish routines, your menu planning, or your child care patterns and focus on one that is particularly frustrating, makes you feel frazzled; and well, sometimes even makes you feel frumpy. Ask yourself what you can do to dress a little nicer, to organize at little bit more, and to delete a little bit here and there so the feeling of control can return to your life.

It is up to us to say no, maybe not now, and maybe just a little bit later. It's up to us to throw out a T-shirt with a bad stain on it so that we don't have to wear it anymore. It is up to us to look at our problems and always be moving towards solutions that function better for us. I encourage you to move from being frustrated, frazzled, and frumpy to being more focused. You will feel better, you'll see things with greater clarity, and you'll be able to endure the long, wearying days better.

Take good care, my friends, and may this week be just a little bit more orderly.

Today we’re going to talk about a very practical kind of organization: organizing for weeding. I would like to suggest that an organized person can get at their weeding, do it faster, and keep it done much better than a person that approaches this task in a slipshod manner.

May I suggest you gather all the hand tools you will need and put them in a container (with a handle) so that each and every time you go out into your yard to weed, you will have everything you need with you. I like a five-gallon plastic bucket the best. Gather or purchase a dandelion digger, a trowel, some good scissors, a pair of pruners, some nice grass clippers, some green tie tape, and some two-inch diameter, two-inch long pieces of sawn PVC pipe (which are used to indicate where the morning glory is when you or our spouse spray the next time).

In addition to this kit (which we will keep near the back door so it will be easy to go out and get at the work), we will also want to buy or find two very good pairs of gardening gloves. We will use one pair right now and keep one pair as a spare for those days when we can’t find the first pair or as replacements when a hole appears. You will also want a straw hat that will keep your head, ears, and nose shaded, some sunscreen for the tip of our nose, and some knee pads or a good kneeling pad.

Review your assortment of larger tools such as the hoe, the rake, and the shovel. Drill a ¾” hole at the end of the tools’ handles, get some nails up on your garage wall, and have those tools hanging conveniently near your door, also.

Finally, may I encourage you to divide your yard (front, back, and sides) into six specific different areas. Then rotate tackling the weeding in the yard in order of these areas. In my particular yard, the left side is one day, the right side is another day, the front yard takes two days and the back yard takes two days. Once I have my weeds under control, a few minutes each workday morning keeps the yard looking great. This method focuses my attention on a small part of the yard and keeps the weeds from laughing at me. I know that yesterday I did section one, and today I will go on to tackle section two. When I don’t get to the weeding for a day or two, I will begin with section three at the next opportunity.

With your weeding organized, you’ll soon be receiving the “yard of beautification” award for you will have tackled, conquered, and otherwise managed to get your wedding done just as you desire. Of course, you may want to set up a kit for your spouse, maybe your children and if you live with other adults or grandchildren, make them a little kit, too.

Remember to organize your hand tools, larger tools, a good pair of gloves, a wonderful hat, sunscreen, and kneeling pad so you can carry the weeding bucket with one hand and the larger tools with the other wherever you are going to work. Good luck this week, and happy weeding!

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but confusion can be very frustrating in our lives. Sometimes we simply feel confused, others times we feel very intimidated with the confusion that surrounds us, and more often than not we can be completely overcome by confusion.

When this happens in your life, how can you get a grip, where do you start to gain control, what you do to regain a semblance of order? Let’s talk about the steps to handle feeling confused, handle feeling intimidated by confusion, and handle being completely overcome by confusion.

I would like to suggest when you feel confused, instead of continuing on with whatever you’re doing, that you stop and ponder. Sometimes by just stopping and figuring out what’s going on, you can get a grip. You may be a little bit confused because the laundry is overly large today and you’ve got stains on three of your boys’ shirts which look difficult to get out, or maybe you are confused because you haven’t decided what you want to serve for dinner tonight, or maybe you are feeling confused because three different friends have said three different things about what they want to do for the next scrapbooking project you are doing together. So when you feel confused, stop, think, and ponder to start figuring out what you need to do from this point forward.

If you are feeling intimidated by confusion, you have moved from just feeling confused to being just a little bit more overwhelmed by the confusion that surrounds you. When you do feel intimidated by confusion, you’ve got to stop, think, and ponder as before, but you also go one more step in that you create a plan of action. “Okay, I’m in a confused state. Exactly what will I do to get back to place that’s more peaceful, where I feel more in control?”

Lastly, there are times in our life when we are completely overcome by confusion. It might be because you’ve been morning sick for three weeks or it might be because you have had unexpected visitors or it might be because you woke up this morning with a cold and haven’t done much more but eat and sleep all day long. When you do feel overcome by confusion, it is probably because it’s going to be a few days or maybe even a week or so before you will be back in control. In this case, you not only need to stop, think, ponder, and create a plan of action, but you need an additional list of written steps of what you will do to come back to order when your energy returns, when the morning sickness abates, when your cold goes away, and when you’re unexpected company disappears.

May I encourage you this next week as you face confusion to follow these steps to stop feeling confused, to stop being intimidated by confusion, and to stop being completely overcome. Simply stop, think, ponder, create a plan of action, and then make a written list of steps to bring things back to order. Good luck, my friends and may you have a wonderful week!

Today I would like to talk about organizing that closet, cupboard, or maybe even that whole room in your house that needs a major overhaul. Its springtime, the best time for change, for cleaning out, and for making things workable again.

In order to really do a big project like this we will need three things. 1) We will need boxes to help sort our treasures. 2) We will need a wastebasket in order to discard the inevitable things we wonder why we collected and kept in the first place. And, 3) we will need some large garbage bags so we can put aside things we are going to give to the thrift store, our neighbor, or someone else who needs the items more than we do.

It will be important for you not to have too many distractions so you can remain focused, ruthless, and otherwise very logical in your decisions. If you can find someone to watch our children, maybe you can return the favor to this good friend when she needs to clean out her own closet, cupboard, or room. Take the boxes that you have gathered or purchased (I like banker’s boxes best which are usually available at Costco or Sam’s Club at a dozen for less than $20.00) and label them according to the items which you will be putting into them: towels, sheets, magazines, paperwork, and etc. Label the garage bags, too, according to the potential new owners of your stash.

On the appointed day at the appointed hour begin to pull items out of the cupboard, the closet, or the room. Put things that absolutely must be kept, sorted in the labeled boxes which have been laid down your hallway. Put things which can and should be thrown away in the wastebasket and put anything that belongs elsewhere (either a friend, another room, the basement) or that need to be given to a thrift store in the big black bags. If you're really doing a big project, you might have various big black bags with this bag for your sister, that bag for your neighbor, this bag for the thrift store, and that bag for the attic.

Please know that many times, if we stored something because we thought we might use it and it's been any considerable period of time and we haven't used it, its time to give it away. It can still be useful to someone else, but need not encumber your life any longer. Share it with your friend, with your neighbor, with a family member, or with a thrift store and generously rid yourself of the nuisance of having too much of what you don't need.

May I suggest that this week you open your windows, let in that beautiful spring air and get some boxes so that you can use for sorting, get a wastebasket so you can discard, and get some big black bags so you can give away to the thrift store, to friends, or to family. Tackle that closet, tackle that cupboard, and even tackle the room that is really not functioning. You'll feel wonderful, you'll have some renewed spring cleaning energy, and you will feel better about yourself because you have taken charge and come off conqueror.

Today I am going to share ideas about how NOT to run out of anything anymore, or in other words how to improve the replenishing habits that will save time, trouble, and hassle in all of our lives.

We run out of gas, we run out of fresh batteries, we run out of our prescriptions. What can we do to improve these skills so we don't run out of anything anymore? May I share four concepts that really seem to help people.

First, set “earlier” refill standards. When I talk to people and ask them how low they let the gas get in their car before they get uptight, I get a variety of answers from, “Well, I have a gas can in the back if I need to walk to a station” to “I wait till the red light goes on” to “Well, I kind of wait to get sort of close to empty”. May I suggest that for the rest of your life by setting an “earlier” refill standard, you will always have gas. I like to suggest that as soon as the gas gauge hits the one-quarter full mark, you plan on looking for a gas station. This gives you a couple of days or a couple of trips to be where you want to purchase gas. It is just a small, but important change in habit. You will never run out of gas because you can't if you're always one quarter of the way full.

Second, when you get a prescription, immediately write on your calendar or your planner when that prescription will be up and then make another written note two or three days before as a reminder to call in the refill or check in with your doctor. Make the call and pick up the prescription on the next days you run errands.

Third, have the habit of having a second fresh set. We use batteries in so many different ways; we have cell phones, laptops, and cameras. May I encourage you to always have a second fresh set of batteries ready to use. In other words, if you buy a new camera, get a second set of rechargeable batteries, and have them charging so that they will be ready at a moment’s notice. Do the same with your laptop and any other item which needs fresh batteries occasionally. With your cell phone, have a regular habit for recharging on a certain time of the day or week.

Finally, prepare for the inevitable. I encourage people to prepare for the next time this time. As you come home from running errands today, clean out your car, make sure you have change for the meter, a little bit of cash stashed, the water bottles are filled, and Cheerios in a container for your children. If you do this you will be unlikely to have an unpleasant trip, because although you might be stressed the next time you climb in your car and not even be thinking about some of the needs, you will be safe knowing that at the end of the last trip you replenished.

This next week I encourage you to find one or two places where you could really improve your replenishing habits. Then have a wonderful replenishing, I’m “just a little bit early” week if you can!

The “oops” syndrome is any action where we cause yourself or others embarrassment. I would like to challenge all of us to take care of one “oops” in our life this next week. I'm talking about myself, particularly. I tend to leave the zipper undone on my skirt, I am partial to losing keys, and I have missed more than one meeting on occasion simply because while I was told about it, I didn't take the time to write it down in my planner.

Sometimes, you will find the “oops” syndrome in your family. You might have a child that regularly loses sweaters, or maybe another one that does very poorly on his spelling tests, or maybe another that just simply misses her piano practicing and has a million excuses for why she has failed you, again. And, of course, there are also “oops” syndrome problems with people you will never be able to change.

So let’s start with ourselves first. In every case, in every place, and every time we find disorganization entering our lives, we must stop and look at ways to live around the challenge, to change our situations so that the “oops” syndrome does not continue in our home.

For instance, I tend to lose my organ keys. I play the organ at my church. This means I need to be able to have keys to open the church house and the organ so that when I arrive I can take care of my responsibilities. However, when I put them in my ordinary bag which also contains my hymn book, I can't easily find them as they sink to the bottom and I can't see them. And, more than once I have gone all the way to the church only to find that the keys are NOT in the bottom of the bag at all. Recently, in an attempt to solve this problem, I found a bag with a place where I can click my keys right at the top of the bag and know instantly rather or not my organ keys are in the right place. This is the first step: gaining the right tools in order to reverse the effects or stop altogether the “oops” problems in our lives.

Of course, the second step is to create a system. In my case, I had to establish a habit of putting my organ keys back on the clip at the top of my bag every time I played the organ, which meant when I practiced Sunday morning and again after I actually played during the meeting.

After you have attempted to conquer one of your own “oops” challenges, you might take the opportunity to do the same thing with your family members. How is the best way to keep sweaters from being lost? How can you improve the poor spelling test results? What about that missed practicing?

I encourage you to think about the “oops” syndrome in your own life and try to solve it in one place. And then think about it working with one child in your life that is failing or being embarrassed because of the “oops” syndrome. The challenge is to gain the capacity to be more confident and to stop repeating one behavior. Finally, look for someone you love, who is constantly causing you “oops” syndrome discouragement and figure out ways to live around the fact that they won't change. Maybe you can have SPARES so you won’t not be embarrassed when they run out, or ask for items which you need EARLY to give enough time for them to function, and sometimes even ASK FOR MORE than is needed so that what is given will be sufficient.

Take good care this week and remember, the “oops” syndrome doesn't need to be a part of your life ever again. There are ways to solve this syndrome by gaining tools, increasing talents, and establishing good habits.

Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.

Today I would like to share some organizational ideas about launching and landing. This is an important concept, both with regards to the places where we will launch and land, the methods by which we will launch and land, and the timing we plan for our launching and landing.

As I work with women, one of the things that keeps them from the capacity to be more organized is that they simply do not have designated places in their home for launching and landing. Yes, they have a kitchen counter where they do put things if the counter isn’t already “busy”, but they don’t regularly plan to keep a place free for launching and landing.

So, if you have a kitchen counter upon which you regularly put the groceries when you come home from errands, this counter should be relatively clean and clear (at all possible times) so when you come in the door with grocery sacks in your arms there is a safe place to put the groceries. This is called a landing pad. Your landing pad might be near your back door, it might even be in your garage, or maybe it is near the front door, but again, it is a flat surface that is left empty except for anticipated items that are being landed. Since we land something and often many things each and every time we return home, this will be a well-used counter.

In the same way, there needs to be a place for launching. This is where you will put items you are going to take when you run errands, when you go a meeting, or when you have another obligation. Because of the mistakes I have made in my own life, I have chosen NOT to use my desk (near the back door) to be my launch pad because I walk right past my desk and all its neatly stacked items and go off on my errands or to my meeting with everything still sitting at home. And so for me there’s only been one good launch pad, and that is the back of my vehicle.

Second, we must think about the methods we use for putting things away and for gathering things up. For instance, when you bring groceries home do you not only put the groceries away but also take the time to put those bags or sacks completely away in their designated home? And do your receipts find their way to your special “receipt” receptacle? In other words, when you land, do you finish?

In the same way do you have a method for gathering up, for preparing to launch? For most people, it is very important to have a sturdy, oversized bag or other container for each regularly repeated activity or project. For instance, there might be Church teaching bag (with manual, visual aids, crayons and extra paper) or a bag for going to the dentist (with toys and books to read children) or even another bag for yourself when you get your hair done (with a book or crocheting/knitting) to occupy you while you wait.

Finally, we will want to think about launching and landing timing. Successful home managers plan for and allow time for launching and landing. Launching is the hardest because we are usually so stressed, in a hurry, and ready to go, we don’t really have the time to think well or thoroughly. That means launching is best done quite early: tonight for a tomorrow morning’s needs, in the morning for an afternoon appointment, today for tonight’s needs.

At the same time, please, if you can in your life, try to allow a few minutes to wind up before leaving as you will usually think of some last minute “to do's". And then allow time to come down or “land” after you arrive home from anywhere. In other words take time to land after you have come home from an activity, a project, or another emotionally draining situation.

It is taking these little bits of “time” spaces for launching and landing, in these methods that we learn about the best way for each of us to launch and land, and it is the specific places that we designate for our launching and landing pads that will make “L&L” a more successful process in our strivings for a more orderly life.

We have a singular challenge almost every day of our lives, one which I hear about frequently when I work with women. “I’m out of something again!”

It might be gas or checks or cash, stamps, socks, nylons, or medication. This is a problem we can solve in several easy steps so you will never be out of anything again.

Most people can remember when they first knew it was time to replenish, but they postponed it for some reason. The fuel tank empty light went on, the bottle of medication felt light, their nylons got a snag. But having waited, they waited too long and then they were on EMPTY! So, it is important and essential to set your own personal standards of replenishing.

For instance: “I will put a new pad of checks in my purse when I come to the post-it note that I always put 10 checks before the end of the current pad.”

“I will buy two rolls of stamps now, and I will buy a new roll when I begin to use the second one.”

“I will purchase two bags of socks the next time I buy socks for my children, my husband, or myself. I will keep the spare socks in the stockroom so I will never run out of socks again.”

“I will call for my refill when I get down to my last 10 pills (or 20 pills or 30 pills depending on often you use your medication) and pick up the prescription when I do my weekly grocery shopping.”

By setting replenishing standards and then sticking to them (as best as you can with the stress you are under), your mind moves forward to a new and safer place. It is important for the person that is working towards organization to always be at the head of the game instead of behind, for when we get behind, we are rushed, we are in trouble, the store is closed, the gas station is out of gas, our socks have holes in them, or maybe we will be going to church without nylons again.

Having replenishing standards and creating new, “sooner” habits will insure you always have extra, too many, and maybe even an overflow in your life.

If you suffer from this challenge in your own life, are married to a spouse that has this test, or have children that struggle with this problem, then may I suggest: 1) review what is always running out, 2) decide when and how to initiate the replenishing process, and 3) set up methods to remind yourself that it is TIME!

Whether is it gas, checks, cash, stamps, socks, nylons, or medication, standards for replenishing will help life run itself a little bit smoother. You will feel a little bit more organized when the sock gets a hole, for you can simply go to your stash to replenish. When your gas hits the one third full mark, you know it’s just about time to look for a station. When the medication bottle begins to feel empty, it is time to call in a refill prescription. Take good care and welcome to a more orderly life!

It is the time of year when farmers begin to prune their trees and since I live in a place where tree pruning is an annual part of my routine, I would like to share three principles of pruning I’ll think would help all of us as we look at our lives.

First, when pruning a tree, you trim out the dead branches. You can also cut off, cut out, and get rid of things in your home. As you are pruning around your house, look for things that are dead, i.e., they don’t work, they are old, decrepit, dysfunctional, or you don’t like them anymore. It is time to prune them out.

Second, when pruning, you also thin out the branches so new growth has a place to grow. I think we can also thin out in our homes. You bought those red pillows thinking they would look so nice in the living room but they have never really matched and are now stuffed in the closet. And you have a few extra pants you bought on sale and it never really used very much. And there are too many grocery store bags and plastic margarine containers. Remember, that less of everything will free up your life, make it simpler, ease your routines, and give you more time and space.

Finally, you have to clean up everything you have cut out, sorted out, and thinned out. This is the last and most essential part of pruning for a good reason. Many times, if you only get the items out to the car, someone will find them and begin to ask questions: why are you giving that away, how can you do this with our treasures, what have you done? You will feel second-guessed and lose your impetus, energy, and focus.

So today and this week, look around your house and think pruning: pruning now and pruning right. First get rid of, discard, or give away anything that is no longer functional in your life. I call these the dead branches. Second, if you have too many things that are working your life, maybe this is a good time to thin out so there will be room for growth later on. This is thinning. Lastly, finish the project with a trip to the trash, to the dump, or to the charity store. This is a job well done.

Take good care my friends and remember, it’s time to prune now and prune right.

"Find something to give. It will always be there to share."

My New Year's Resolution came to me on January 3 when I got a call from our local Lupus Foundation. They asked if I had anything to donate at this time. I said, no, looking around at all the excess stuff in my house. Then said, "Wait! Sure! I can come up with at least two bags of clothes to donate!"

I encouraged my husband and son to look through their things to donate gently used items, and we came up with three bags of clothes. My New Year's Resolution is to come up with SOMETHING to donate every time I get a call from Lupus Foundation, or ARC, or someone who is genuinely going to share my items with those less fortunate. I've never been good at having garage sales, but I can say "YES" to help me clear my house of clutter!

Have a wonderful year! Mine has started off three bags lighter! Katie in Loveland, Colorado 01-2010

Today I would like to discuss the quarterly review concept. You see, the more I observe those that seem to have their act together and are highly organized, the more I see patterns in their behavior.

I have noticed that the most successful ones are constantly looking at their calendar to find good pacing for their comings and goings, their launching and their landings, and the physical and emotional involvement of each event in their lives.

One person I spoke to had an especially wonderful idea she calls the three-month review. Every three months she stops and looks at the next quarter of calendar, i.e. the next three months, to see what they are going to bring her. She does this for March/April/May, June/July/August, September/October/November and December/January/February. She skews her quarters from the regular three-month calendar in order to get through the holiday season in an orderly fashion.

When we to do a three-month review, we might do three things. 1) Review our calendar and look out for the pressures that are going to come. Remember that every important day in your life in needs additional time for launching and landing. If you have a family birthday on the March 21, like I do, you need to also plan on the 20th of March and the 22nd of March as being launch and landing days. It may take some time for last-minute details in preparation for the birthday and it may take a day to clean up, put away, and to come down emotionally. Since I have another son’s birthday the next week on the 27th, I will also want to be a little bit careful with the 26th in the 28th so that those days are not heavily laden.

We've also got Easter, Mother’s Day, and Memorial Day coming up, and we will need to plan launch and landing dates in preparation for those holidays, too. So much can be planned out if you stop, think, and look at your calendar. Focusing on holiday needs, planning for emotional and practical launching and landing, and preparing now for then will bring greater organization to the next 90 days and a greater capacity to pace yourself.

Remember, being organized does take a lot of work, but it is a lot more work to be disorganized. Consider doing a three-month review as early as this upcoming weekend! What will March, April, and May bring to you?

Today, because celebrations are ever present in our lives, I would like to address gift giving, especially at weddings.

1) Close friends and family - We will be emotionally attached to our closest family and friends and also probably feel generous towards their children. These gifts, of course, will tend to be more expensive and more elaborate. It is likely they can be hand delivered.

2) Good friends and family – We will want to give nice gifts to good friends and family that live close or far away. We probably won’t spend as much time choosing these gifts nor will we spend as much money on these gifts, but we will still care about their quality and appearance.

3) Obligatory gifts - Then there will be gifts for children of people we have known or have been good friends with sometime ago, maybe business associates, and others to whom we have less emotional ties. It is appropriate for us to give but even less money and less emotional energy will most likely be spent.

When I work with families, I try to help people see that if they make choices about these three levels of wedding gift giving, there will be less on their mind as they decide what they will give in these different situations. This will simplify and organize their gift giving substantially.

4) Then there must be a decision about the financial impact of wedding gift giving, i.e., how much will be spent for gifts for close friends and family? How much for good friends and family, and how much will be spent for obligatory gifts?

5) Finally, there are the dynamics when the wedding will be farther away than you can or will personally attend, i.e., there will some expense to mailing a package and/or card.

When I work with people, I have found there are usually certain gifts they did not receive on their own wedding day which they very much wished they had received. This item might be an item that they could start giving. For instance, my husband and I did not get a hose for our wedding and it’s been more or less a tradition for us to give hoses as wedding gifts to close friends and family. Good friends and family might get a gift card from a home improvement store with a card encouraging them to buy a hose. We give a smaller amounts in a gift card to those to whom we have obligations and/or need to send a gift through the mail. By thus more or less have standardizing our gift giving, it’s become a tradition such that everyone anticipates a “hose” in some form or other from us.

I suggest you consider doing the same thing: try organizing wedding gift giving with the idea that you will be doing this for the next 20 years or so. It will simplify your life, it will help your budget, and it definitely makes life easier all the way around!

I recently received a request from Lisa who has recently moved far from home and feels the pressure of finances (because her husband's earnings have decreased) to think of creative ways to work from her home. She emailed me and asked me how I faced this particular challenge in my own life, which I have, and what I would suggest. May I share with you three different thoughts about what I believe and know works in well almost each and every case.

1) A phrase that we've used in our home (which I realize is a ideal situation) is “my husband earns the money and I try to save it”. What that means is that with as much dedication as he works outside the home, I work inside the home to make every single dollar he earns stretch as far as possible, I try to be frugal. I try to be conservative. I may repaint, I may mend; and, in general, I attempt to be satisfied with my current situation.

2) After several attempts to leave the home to earn money and feeling frustrated, I realized that maybe this really wasn't the best answer for me. I decided I would not leave the home to work, if at all possible, which has really never happened to me with all the ups and downs of our financial situations over the years. Once I determined to stay home, ways were opened for me to be creative, to increase my skills, to cook on less money, to cut hair so I didn't have to go to the barber, and to mend so I didn’t have to replace clothing as often. It meant for greater happiness than I think I could have ever found outside the home. In other words, I learned it to make it fun to live “thin”.

3) I did what I could do to “make money in the margins” (which phrase I read in a book recently). Sometimes I tole painted for money, sometimes I taught piano lessons, sometimes I sewed for a woman, and sometimes I typed, but my goal was to always be home. That is why and how I learned to publish a web page, write a book, and share ideas on home organization.

I attempted to try new and difficult things just to keep my edge and have been blessed in many ways. From my perspective, having my children all grown and gone now, that season was so very short and it only came once. How very glad I am that I chose to stay home, chose to save as much of my husband's earnings as possible, chose to increase my homemaking skills, chose to “work in the margins” making money here in there, and making do else wise.

I wish everyone of you good luck. It is not easy to have less than you would like financially, but it is so very important to be home for them as long as they are home. It is worth every older couch you own, every dress you will wear past its prime, and every simple homemade meal you prepare!

Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.

What is the best way to organize personal journal files on your computer? Should you have a system suited to your needs? And, if so, which one?

I would like to suggest that this organization is extremely important for journal entries to both be preserved and also to be easily retrieved upon demand. For myself, I have a folder entitled “mcr Journal” on my personal computer and underneath that I have “mcr 2007 Journal” sub-folder. In that sub-folder I have the word processing file entitled “mcr 0107”. Remember, using initials and abbreviations makes for simplification in notating files, photos, and other documents. In this case, mcr stands for Marie Calder Ricks and 0107 stands for January 2007.

When I have finished with this monthly journal file, it will be edited and printed so I will also have a hard copy to keep in a binder. I can usually put twelve months’ worth of printed journal entries in one 1-1/2” thick binder. When February comes, I create a new computer file entitled “mcr 0207”, which stands for Marie Calder Ricks, February 2007. This is also kept in the “mcr 2007 Journal” sub-folder.

At the end of the year I will have 12 files, one for each month; these twelve files I will keep in the “mcr 2007 Journal” folder which will be inside the “mcr Journal” folder. Over a period of time I will have a “mcr 2007 Journal” folder, a “mcr 2008 Journal” folder, and etc.

I like very much when I write in my journal to back up that computer file right after I make my entry. I have found that the feelings and expression of my heart are very hard for me to rewrite. By backing up consistently, usually on a thumb drive, a zip disk, or even a CD, I do not have to worrying about losing my journal entries. I can now relax while I’m writing, enjoy what I’m recording, and people will have an accurate record of what’s going on in my life.

Think carefully about how to set up and organize your computer journal files. I know that having a computer makes it much easier for all of us to record our feelings, our experiences, and the impressions that come to us. It is important that we seriously do so for our children, our grandchildren, our close relatives, and even those that are not related to us will one day read our history, wonder about us, and will want to know how it really was for us.

So create a personal “journal” folder, a specific journal folder for the year, then create files where the daily entries can be kept for a month. If you do this, any single day’s entries, any month’s file, any year’s folder of files, will be neatly ordered and easy to retrieve. Then, with journal entries backed up every time you make an entry, monthly journal entries that are edited, printed and put in a binder on a regular basis, you will be set. Having this hard copy of your journal will allow you to also put other items such as thank you notes, pictures, and important articles in your printed journal for the ready use and enjoyment of your family.

Take good care now, and remember, organizing your personal journal computer files will make them easy to retrieve and a breeze to add to each and every day.

My friends, I recently received a request asking that I discuss the best way to organize photographs kept on a computer. I will approach this in the same way I do it myself with the hope that you can both understand and it’ll help you organize your own photographs.

Any time we attempt to get organized, we have to think in three directions: 1) Do I have the tools to get organized? 2) Do I have a system set up which both makes sense to me and which I can trust? 3) And, finally, do I have a routine that will allow me to work with the tools and the system so I can regularly take care of the photographs on my computer?

May I suggest first that you have a “holding” folder where photographs can be kept until they are processed. I call this folder “Photographs to Process”. You might use a different name, but the concept is that there needs to be “holding” folder for all photographs that need processing.

I create a sub-folder anytime I download photographs, and I include in this subfolder the date and the place and sometimes the occasion of the photographs which I have taken.

In addition to this, I have a folder where I keep photographs permanently. This particular folder I just label “Photographs Processed” and within this folder there are sub-folders, usually labeled with general family names, general topics, or general divisions that would apply to my specific situation. For instance, my last name is Ricks so I have a subfolder that says “Ricks Photographs” and within that sub-folder I have an additional subfolder that says “James N. Ricks Photographs”, which are the photographs for my immediate family and “Norman H. Ricks photographs” which are photographs for my father-in-law’s family.

Within the “James N. Ricks Photographs” sub-folder, I have additional folders that say “James N. Ricks Photographs~2007”. Within that subfolder I have the event subfolders “Brian C. Ricks’ Birthday, Highland, Utah, 2007”, “Tom E. Ricks’ Graduation, Athens, Georgia, 2007” and etc. always including the name, date, and place in that folder’s name.

As I process my photographs, each photograph is labeled with the initials of those people in the photograph, the date of the photograph, and the place of the photograph. For instance, “ter at graduation, 2007-08, Georgia, Athens”. I have found that by using people’s initials (of their first, middle, and last name) I very rarely have confusion or the inability to list everyone that is in the photograph. And then if there is a special event of which I have taken several photographs of the same people, I will add to those photograph titles numbers such as: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 as needed, i.e. “ter at graduation, 2007-08, Georgia, Athens, #1”.

I hope that this small introduction to the way I organize my photographs on the computer will give you some impetus and ideas to organize yourself. Remember, you must have the tools, you must set up a system that works for you, and then you must have a routine. I generally do photographs on Sundays because that allows me a time to move my photographs from the “Photographs to Process” folder to the specific folders and subfolders where I keep my permanent photographs on a regular basis.

Think of tools that will work for you, a system that will work, and a routine that will provide you with the capacity to keep those photographs processed. Good luck this week!

Today I would like to share a great idea shared by a House of Order friend, Lisa Willey (Springville, Utah):

"Wouldn't it be nice to have hot, homemade dinners delivered to your door two or three nights a week? Think about it - homemade dinners delivered to your door, when you are not sick, not recovering from the birth of a child, and did not have a death in the family.

That's what will happen when you arrange neighborhood 'cooking partners.' Here's what to do:

Connect with 1-3 neighbors who have similar family sizes, and see if they'd like to share meal cooking with you on a weekly basis. On your designated cooking day, you cook duplicate meals - one for your family, and one for each of your cooking partners. For example, I have Arleen and Christie as my cooking partners. I cook three of the same meals every Monday. I deliver them in disposable pans to my two neighbor's homes by 3:00 PM (so dinner is done before the kids start coming home from school. A GREAT idea.)

You simply find 1-3 neighbors (cooking partners) and work out your assigned day of the week. For our partners, we swap dinners on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Friday is date night, and Saturday is usually leftover night.

We met together for one-hour and planned out our first month. We agreed it would just be a trial run. No strings attached. No commitments after four weeks (in case, for any reason, it just doesn't work out for any one family). No hurt feelings.

We decided to rotate chicken/beef/chicken on Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday each week, since those are some 'main' meat groups. We alternate every week, so I one Monday I cook a beef meal, and the next Monday I cook a chicken meal. Sure, if you toss in pork or salmon, that's great. We set a four-week schedule of who's cooking what so we don't get lasagna two nights in a row, nor do we get chicken 2-3 nights in a row.

We all cook for five. Some families have five, some have four, but we all cook for five.

We decided to just do main dishes only. No veggies, salad, bread or dessert. You decide in your cooking partners group how you want to handle that.

I'm saving money by NOT shopping for multiple meals each week. I only cook 2-3 times a week now (my cooking day, plus one other day of the week, and Sunday dinner.)

On Tuesday and Wednesday I smile more. I have more time. I look forward to dinner!

When holidays and vacation days come around, we work those out on a week by week basis.

Two cooking partners (you and one other) is a great start. Three is what I have right now (me, Arleen and Christie). I think four partners would end up being "too many leftovers." You decide what works best for your family and your cooking group.

When I prepare a recipe that serves eight, I simply double it, because that makes 16 servings, and I can divide that by 3 families (16 divided by 3 = 5 plus a little extra.) Friday night is date night, so I don't cook then. Saturday is clean-out-the-fridge day. Sunday I cook for just my family.

Leave your egos at the door. If your family adores your homemade macaroni and cheese recipe, but your cooking partners' families do not, shrug it off and move on. Don't make it again for the partners. No hurt feelings. People tastes differ, and you can't please all the people all the time. On the flip side, recipes have come into my home that I would have never made, and they have been devoured. Life is an adventure.

Make it a resolution in January to try cooking partners - even just on a trial basis.

Today I’d like to share several ideas from an e-mail I received from Valerie Wood (North Dakota). Several weeks ago we talked about the challenges we sometimes face when things go bad, bad, bad and seem to get worse, worse, worse. Valerie commented that every day she tries to do one small thing from her “to do list” that has been bothering her.

These items probably aren’t really very important and probably will never make it to the top of her to do list. For instance, she might take 10 minutes while she’s talking to her mother-in-law and clean out the kitchen junk drawer or she’ll organize the gloves are in the box at the top of the coat closet near the front door while waiting for the children to come home from the bus. In other words, she tries to do one thing every day. She says this gives her a certain sense of accomplishment and makes it easier to go back to the mundane, often repeated, and rarely noticed items of housework and homemaking that are a part of her everyday life.

I think this is a wonderful idea. May I suggest that just for this next week you review your to do list and find several short, really not so important items and take care of them, one item per day. For instance, right now in my bathroom, I can see cobwebs up at the ceiling. Yes, they can sit there for a long, long time, and they’re really not all that important. But tomorrow they will be vanquished and on Wednesday I’m going through my lipsticks and discard every single one that doesn’t look good on me. And on Thursday, I’m going to go through the container on my desk and throw away all the pens that really don’t write. Sometimes it is these little things that make us feel somewhat in control when we notice the cereal on the floor crunching under our feet, our baby’s dirty diaper, and another batch of laundry to fold.

Take good care now and maybe just for the next seven days choose seven small, short, not very necessary things that have been bothering you, items to complete, to cross off, and to make you feel in control.

Do you want things to be more organized, less rushed, and with fewer glitches this next year? Whether there are just two of you, or you are working with a family of a larger size, prepare and use a family calendar to have better days all during the new year.

A well-used wall calendar is an organized family’s best friend. It is a tool which must be prepared diligently at the first of the year, updated each month, reviewed each week, and then looked at each and every day to do its best job.

Twelve-month wall calendars are usually available at office supplies stores for a modest price. Purchase one now to get a head start on the new year.

Label the calendar right away with the known events for the next year. This might include business trips, birthdays, holidays, children’s school schedules, family reunions, and potential family vacation dates. Colorful marking pens can be used to emphasize important dates. Draw red hearts on Valentine's Day, balloons on birthdays, and stars on national holidays.

Any time you receive an invitation to an event (such as a wedding, shower, or birthday party), note the date, time, and details on the calendar. When the children's soccer schedule is brought home, take a minute and note times and dates as well. One family found that using stickers for regular, repetitive events was helpful in reminding them of their commitments. Blue stickers were put on Tuesdays for piano lessons, green stickers were used on Wednesday for football practice, and pink stickers were for Friday’s dance lessons. Even the youngest members of the family easily learned to associate the colored stickers with certain reoccurring activities.

At the beginning of each month, review the calendar and add additional notes to help your days go better. If Kevin's birthday is on the 15th, when will you take him birthday shopping? Note that date on the calendar. If you have a traditional family party on the 25th, when will you go to the specialty grocery store and purchase the supplies for that special dessert you always bring? Also note this date on the calendar.

At the beginning of each week, hold a family council with everyone in your family at which time you review the events for the upcoming week, learn about school assignments, projects, and tests (such as the term spelling test on Friday), coordinate rides to and from the varied activities, plan the preparation for festivities (such as cookies for the back-to-school night), and get babysitting commitments from your teenagers (so you and your spouse can have a date night out). This wall calendar is for your whole family's use and should be kept near the kitchen table.

At the beginning of the evening meal, quickly review what tomorrow will bring and remind family members of their commitments and responsibilities. For instance, "George, tomorrow I will be picking you up right after school to take you to piano lessons." "Mary, brownies need to be baked for that party tomorrow. I can help you get them ready after dinner tonight". "Frank, when shall we fill up with gas for the weekend drive to the wedding up north?"

Over and over again, the family wall calendar can act as a prompter to help activities run smoothly and lessen the stress which often accompanies a busy family’s life. Purchase and fix it up at the beginning of the year, review and make detailed plans at the beginning of the month, have a family council and coordinate activities at the beginning of the week, and go over the calendar at dinner time. You will notice an immediate and lasting improvement in your family’s lifestyle!